08 May 2009


I'm really fed up with my Mum at the moment. Which is unusual, because I normally put up with a lot from her and don't complain all that much. But yesterday she accused me of being glib about her illness. Me! Glib!! After all the fucking sympathy I give her and the amount of crap I put up with.

Basically, she had a whole hoo ha paddy over the weekend about my brother's wedding. She suddenly found out that my Grandad was going to want a lift back with her and Dad, and Dad hadn't told him that that wasn't possible, and Mum refused point blank to give him a lift back because she "won't be able to deal with someone else in the car". So she had a massive go at Dad for not refusing to drive his own father home, and slagged him off to me saying he had no backbone. I told her not to talk to me like that about him, which brought her up short a bit because people don't answer her back often.

Anyway, in the end my brother had to do some phoning around, and has arranged a cab to take my Grandad home (85 fucking quid!), and so it was all sorted after three days of stress.

And is she pleased? No. She rings me up at work and bleats on about how she "could really do without the stress of it all". Yes but it's done now, I say, so don't worry about it any more. "No you're not listening, I feel really ill and worn out by it all now". "YES, but it's done now, so stop thinking about it and concentrate on feeling better. Just put it behind you."

And then I'm called glib. Glib is such a little word, it slips out so easily, but I've had TEN YEARS of fucking crap off of her, I've been her main source of support and sympathy, even more than my Dad or brother who "don't understand", and she dares to call ME glib? How much fucking more does she want?

So anyway, I'm pissed off with her now. The thing about her illness, the really fucking convenient thing, is that any kind of stress or disruption makes her feel ill. So that means essentially that everything has to happen exactly the way she wants it to, and you can't do or say anything that she doesn't like, because otherwise you're inconsiderately inflicting suffering on a disabled woman. Isn't that a bit fucking convenient for a woman who has always been demanding and has always insisted that everything is about her? And isn't it just the tiniest bit open to abuse? How easy it must be to say she's feeling ill if she doesn't like something. How tempting.

Fucking glib. It makes me sick.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I hope you told her off. I hope you used the word "ingratitude" too...