20 November 2009

Cold dead eyes

I feel like I haven't been blogging so much lately about things that are actually going on in my life. That's partly because I haven't been doing that many things out of the ordinary, and partly because my Mum hasn't been quite as mental as usual. She's still mental of course, and she has her moments, but nothing has caused her to have a major freakout for a little while.

So rather than write another review of something I've seen on the television, I thought I'd write a little bit about one of the places I went to while on holiday in Gran Canaria instead. I don't know how it managed to slip my mind in my original post about our holiday - perhaps it didn't slip it at all, and just buried itself as deeply as possible in my brain, hoping never to be recalled.

The place was called the Basement Club, and it's a sex club. It's more than that actually, it's a whole sex resort accommodation thing, much like the set of bungalows we stayed at but with a rather different 'anything goes' kind of ethos. You can spend your whole holiday staying there if you want to.

It wasn't my idea to go to the Basement Club (I know you won't believe me), but it was our first night there and one of the staff of Club Mancha was out with us and offered to show us some places we hadn't been before. I should have realised at that point that there was probably a very good reason why we hadn't been to them before, but alas the considerable amounts of vodka I was pouring down my face and the 13 hours travelling that day impaired my judgement.

I've been in darkrooms before, lots of bars and clubs in Gran Canaria have them, and although they're not really my thing they're usually OK for a quick skirt round and then escape into the bar area trying not to laugh while hissing to your friends "Oh my god, did you see what that man was doing to that other man? He looked like my Dad!"

So when the Club Mancha man said they were having a sex party at the Basement Club that night and did we want to pop in there "just for a quick drink to see", I thought it couldn't be that bad, it's nothing I haven't seen before.

Actually yes it was that bad, and not for the reasons I was expecting. First of all, I think 'sex party' was a rather grand term for what it actually was. I was expecting some kind of porno-esque scene replete with tanned bodies and funky guitar music in the background. In fact, what I got was a group of about a dozen men, mostly in leather kilts and waistcoats, standing around a pool and bar area and not talking to each other. None of them were my type at all, but as they were all of a similar look I suppose they might have been each others' types, so... good for them I suppose. There was high energy club music playing, and a definite feeling of "is this a sex party? are we meant to be having sex? well I'm not starting, someone else can start, I'm going to stand here and wait."

It reeked in there despite being outdoors, possibly the result of a previous sex party or some problem with their drains, and was pretty much one of the least sexy places I've ever been. And the men, oh the men. They just looked so SAD. Not sad as in trainspotting sad, sad as in unhappy. They had lifeless dead zombie eyes that roamed around looking for some sort of connection with another person and not finding any. And if they weren't sad they looked angry, although that might not have been helped by me and my friends standing in the middle talking and laughing and generally not taking the this-is-meant-to-be-sexy thing very seriously.

In the end two men shuffled close enough together that each took it as sign the other may be vaguely interested in them, and they started doing something in the corner. The other kilties were inexorably drawn over like moths to a physical affection flame and decided to cluster around them in silence, and that was when we decided we'd had enough and wanted to go.

It was all so serious, and moody, and angry, and silent. I thought sex was supposed to be fun, and you might even be able to laugh at times during it (although laughing at the moment your partner drops his trousers is possibly not helpful). I couldn't see anything to enjoy there at all, and even though I felt maybe it's just not my thing, none of the other men seemed to be enjoying themselves either.

I don't know, maybe I missed the point or something, but it left me feeling rather sorry for them. I know that's hideously patronising, and I don't really mean it quite like that, but if they look that angry and sad when they're having fun, fuck knows what they look like the rest of the time.

It was an experience anyway. Not one I'd repeat in a hurry, but an experience nonetheless. Am I being terribly narrow-minded? I don't think I am really, most narrow-minded people don't tend to go into sex clubs in the first place. And I don't mind if that's what the people in there want to do, that's up to them. They weren't hurting anyone. They had a rack thing you could tie someone up on if you wanted, I suppose you could hurt someone on that, but I'm almost certain that's normally used in consensual circumstances. I'd be interested to know what their clients get from it anyway, because all it really gave me was the feeling I needed to take a shower.


Urban Cynic said...

Oh dear, yes that does sound sad, & in a really tragic way. I've never been to such an event - the closest I've been to the world of gay (apart from actually living in Brighton) was going to Zanzibar once for my birthday as I thought it'd be nice to not get chatted up & have a laugh & a boogie with some hot gay men (ironically they looked after me like I was a Queen) I was then cornered by a fat, dungarees-wearing stereotype lezza in the toilets & informed that I shouldn't be there if I was straight & wanted to spurn her advances (I carefully explained that even if I was a lesbian she was NOT my type & she wasn't barred from the Zap so I'd go where I damned well liked)

All the gay men there seemed very happy & joyful - although it wasn't billed as a sex party to be fair...

superlative said...

I never realised you were so sheltered from the world of the gays, living in Brighton and all! I don't think it's been Zanzibar for about 8 years you know...

But no, I don't believe anywhere in Brighton is quite like the place I described. There's a couple of gay saunas but that's it. You were a bit unlucky to be so harangued by a lesbian, most of the gay places I go to are pretty mixed now so I wouldn't expect that to happen all that often.

Urban Cynic said...

Yeah, it WAS about 10 years ago! I'd be lucky to be hit upon by anyone nowadays....

I've got a coupla gay friends but none of us (well me) bother with clubing anymore; when you're in your 30's it doesn't have the same appeal so we just go for coffee! They're pretty tight about sexual activity in Costa so I don't get to see much sauce!

I see gay people out & about obviously (I love seeing a man in full drag on a wed afternoon; but why do they always look like Jordan or your auntie?)but I think unless you're part of a 'scene' in Brighton, then you stay a bit sheltered in your circles.

Plus my gay friends are far too busy being fabulous & buying nice stuff to partake in sauna orgies... I hope.